dilemma

Isn't it bad enough that my life is messed up? Why should I let anyone mess up my trip also?

Some said, there is nothing to stop you from going on your own. Some said, don't go, I would be so worried about you.

Much as I appreciate your grave concern, do you understand my frustration of having to give this up?

I am profoundly sorry if my recklessness upsets you. But after all, this is my life.

I am a big girl. I know how to take care of myself. I won't expose myself to any perceivable danger. I promise.

Everything got to have its first time.

First time someone broke your heart; first time you take a trip on your own.

Having said that, to be honest, I do have some hesitation.

Some told me about the couple on vacation being shot while sun-bathing on the beach. Some told me about terrorist attack and corpse found under hotel bed.

But, in the end, if anything should happen, it would happen, right?

I even managed to convince my dad to let me go on my own. I never thought he would agree. Can you believe it? I know he would be worrying sick but he loves me so much he couldn't bear to say no when I asked for his permission.

It is an exceedingly kind gesture of trust, at a time I am not so certain about myself.Maybe, of all people, he is the only one who understands what it means to me to be able to do this.

Still I haven't made up my mind. To go or not to go, that is the question.

What's actually holding me back is the cost of accommodation. It is way too expensive to bear the hotel room charges on one's own. Well over my budget and completely out of the question.

Sh-t!